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Women have their own language. Men need to
learn at least a part of this Foreign Tongue for survival. Every
man alive on this planet should print the following list,
memorize it, and keep it on their person at all times.
1. Fine: This is
the word women use to end an argument when they are right and
you need to shut up.
2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a
half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just
been given five more minutes to watch the game before doing some
chore around the house.
3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means
something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin
with "nothing" usually end in "fine".
4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it,
or you will pay.
5. Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a
non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh
means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting
her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing.
(Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
6. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous
statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she
wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you
will pay for your mistake.
7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question. Just
say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is
true, unless she says "Thanks a lot" - that is PURE sarcasm and
she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say "you're welcome" ...
that will bring on a "whatever").
8. Whatever: Is a women's non-profane way of saying @#!&%
YOU!
9. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous
statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man
to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will
later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's
response refer to # 3.
Send this link to the men you know, to warn them about
arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.
Send this link to all the women you know to give them a good
laugh, because they know it's true. |
